Friday, May 29, 2015

Weekly Limerick

“It’s crescent shaped rolls that I want!”
Cooed the shapely, urbane debutante.
  “Didn’t rush off to town
And just scarf 1 Down;
I relaxed when I 8 Across aunt.”

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Weekly Riddle

What's the difference between
a moldy vegetable and
a depressing song?
[One is a bad salad, the other is a sad ballad.]

Weekly Pic


Weekly Joke

"A woman returned to the supermarket with her nine bags of groceries and a long receipt.
She demanded to see the store manager. 'What's the problem?' the manager asked.
'You can see bright here on the receipt that I paid for two TV dinners,'
the woman fumed. 'So where's the TV?' "

Weekly Video


Friday, May 22, 2015

Weekly Limerick

A canny young fisher named Fisher
Once fished from the edge of a fissure.
A fish with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in ---
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Weekly Joke

"Two boys were walking home from the creek with a nice string of fish.
They'd had a great day fishing, but their prizes were starting to emit
a strong, unpleasant odor. 'I sure wish there was some way
we could keep 'em from smelling,' said one boy.
'Well,' said the other, 'I reckon we could clamp their noses.' "

Friday, May 15, 2015

Weekly Limerick

I bought a new Hoover today,
Plugged it in in the usual way,
Switched it on - what a din;
It sucked everything in,
Now I'm homeless with no place to stay.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Wekly Riddle

Why was the farmer so stressed out?
[He was studying for the soil test.]

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Weekly Joke

" 'Do you think we should buy a horse or a cow
with our harvest money this autumn?'
a farmer asked his wife.
'Well, the neighbors sure would laugh at you
if they saw you trying to milk a horse.'
'That's true. Of course, they'd laugh at me
if they saw me trying to ride a cow, too' "

Friday, May 8, 2015

Weekly Limerick

One Saturday morning at three
A cheesemonger's shop in Paree
Collapsed to the ground 
With a thunderous sound
Leaving only a pile of de brie.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Weekly Riddle

What did the farmer do when he finally caught the stray pig?
[He put it in hamcuffs.]

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Weekly Joke

" 'Doctor,' screamed a caller on the phone,
'I've just swallowed a camera with
a roll of film in it.' 'Well, just sit tight,'
the doctor said. 'Let's just wait and see what develops.' "

Friday, May 1, 2015

Weekly Limerick

Is it me or the nature of money
That's odd and peculiar? Funny,
 
But when I have dough 
It goes quickly, you know, 
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.