Weekly Limerick

This was suggested by Mckim Colaire!

There was a man that I despise.
For he always told too many lies.
He called someone slim
But the joke was on him
And now he sits at home and cries.

Weekly Riddle

Why are pianos hard to open?

[The keys are inside.]

Weekly Pic

Weekly Joke

A Scotsman arrived in New York and soon was set up in his own apartment.

After a few weeks, his mother called to see how he was doing.

"Terrible!" replied the Scotsman. "All day long some crazy guy

bangs on my wall and yells, 'I can't take it anymore!

I can't take it anymore!'"  "I'm so sorry," said his mother. "But that's

not all," said the Scotsman. "On the other side some woman cries and

moans all day long." "Well, Son," advised his mother, "if I were you,

I'd keep to myself." "Oh, I do," replied the Scotsman. 

"I just sit in my room all day and play the bagpipes."

Weekly Video

Weekly Limerick

There was a young lady named Perkins,
Who just simply doted on gherkins.
In spite of advice,
She ate so much spice,
That she pickled her internal workins'.

Weekly Riddle

What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?

["Stop going in circles and get to the point."]

Weekly Pic

Weekly Joke

An able-bodied seaman met a pirate and they took turns recounting their adventures at sea.

Noting the pirate's pegleg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asked, "So, how did you end up

with the pegleg?" "Well," said the pirate, "we was caught in a monster storm off the cape

and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of

sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off." "Blimey!" exclaimed the seaman.

"What about the hook?" "Ahhhh," continued the pirate, "we were boardin' a trader

ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. Somehow I got me hand

got chopped off." "Zounds!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"

"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "Agh," said the pirate, "it was me first day with the hook."

Weekly Video

Weekly Limerick

There was an old man of Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket;
But his daughter, named Nan
Ran away with a man --
And as far as the bucket, Nantucket.

Weekly Riddle

Who was the first underwater spy?

[James Pond.]

Weekly Pic

Weekly Joke

 Little Jimmy came home from a birthday party, waving his door prize excitedly at his mother.

"Look what I won, Mom!" 

"Why, it's a thermos," said Jimmy's mother. 

"What's a thermos? said Jimmy. 

"A thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." 

The next morning Jimmy packed his lunch and was about to leave for school when his mother stopped him. "Jimmy, what did you pack for lunch?" 

"Don't worry, Mom, I have it all in my thermos." 

"What did you put in there?" 

"A cup of soup and a popsicle."

Weekly Video

Weekly Limerick

There was a young lady named Hannah,
Who slipped on a peel of banana.
As she lay on her side,
More stars she espied
Than there are in the Star-Spangled Banner.

Weekly Riddle

  Where do baby Vikings go when their parents are at work?

[To the Norse-ery.]

Weekly Pic

Weekly Joke

Did you hear about the crook who tried to hijack a busload of tourists? The police have 2,000 photographs of the suspect.

Weekly Video

Weekly Limerick

An elderly man called Keith

Mislaid his set of false teeth - 

They'd been laid on a chair,

He'd forgot they were there,

 Sat down, and was bitten beneath.

Weekly Riddle

What did 0 say to 8?
["Nice belt!"]

Weekly Pic